The hoplessness of being an Amatuer Actor!

[Luciano Munoz III]

I hope this post can inspire other actors and keep them going through those tough boring days when it feels like you might not make it, those day's when you feel delusional, the days when you think that settling for an occupation will get rid of the pain you feel when neglected by your passion. Keep ya head up, and read on, and I invite any potential readers to share their stories and reply to this post, and please feel free to share this with others, or heck share your own stories with others.

I often find myself thinking, "Hmm I wish I had the resources that some of these other young actors in my town have, because if I did I sure as hell wouldn't let them go to waste! I'd use my parent's money to get a car and drive to auditions, I would be able to afford acting classes, I'd be able to afford voice classes for singing and acting. I would encompass my day with acting class after acting class after acting class until my blood was thespian positive. I would at least have a TV role by now I SWEAR!" Yea I think this word for word multiple times throughout the day. Ok It's not really verbatim but close enough! And I don't think any amount of money could help me find success but it's the blood sweat and tears that I would put behind that money to improve myself as an actor, I promise you I don't mean to come off as cocky and if that is the picture I have painted of myself thus far, I apologize. Now don't get me wrong as I said before I don't pity myself, no these are just unintended roadblocks I have that I can't seem to overcome as quickly as I would like too. This is actually the first time I feel I've complained publicly about my situation in years. It's only sometimes I feel so helpless, and seeing others with the opportunities they have and connections they have made just throw away their craft to party at night sit around during the day and still have the audacity to call themselves actors makes me(insert adjective here).....I don't know sick?............Sad?.................Purple?........I dare not say envious because I am not! I wish that they would go for it as much I would, I wish they would share their talents with the world as much as I want to. Then again I've only been at this film acting thing for a year and a half and I've booked three short local films and I loved every minute of those sleepless days! But it's the days not spent on set, those are the ones that feel like months in their own right. I find myself applying myself to making myself better at the craft everyday, on my own, armed with acting literature and monologues galore. But working on my craft alone can become cumbersome, especially when I can't tell if I'm creating bad habits, acting is all about reacting in my opinion(and many others), and I'm hoping I can soon find a way to afford lessons to at least hold me over until I can get another acting job, or a stable retail job. 

              I know my mother would be proud of me, but she wouldn't want to give up. Before she passed she told me to never pay attention to the naysayers and always follow my dreams. She was headstrong and a wonderful woman, complete in every possible way. I carry on not only for myself, but also for her and the success she felt I would gain. My Father is still a stranger to me, but I sense he is still proud, I want to forgive him for walking out on the family when I was young but it tends to be a scar that won't heal. I feel for some reason once I'm successful I'll be able to forgive him, maybe it's because I'll be able to visit him more often. I know nobody wants to hear this crap but in a self fulfilling way I'm glad I got it off of my chest I never get to complain or vent so this, this feels nice Haha. Maybe this story will inspire other actors to continue striving! I hope it does. Don't ever give up on your dream fellow thespians whether it's film, or stage, or any other form of acting. I'm still new to this game, but if there is anything I've learned from reading way to many books, and believing way to many of the quotes teachers posted on the walls back in school, it's that perseverance is the final lock on the chest of success, unfortunately it is also one of the hardest to pick! Without this key ingredient you can have all the talent in the world, and all the money, but if you are just another actor willing to give up when the drought of unemployment creeps up on you, then acting probably isn't your real passion, it isn't where your heart belongs. To perfectly misquote Anton Chekhov- Acting is my lawful wife, and the business my disillusioned stalker. When I try to spend a night with one, the other always creeps upon the fun. Don't give up push harder, and I promise you I will! And of course Long Live and Prosper! Here is a link to help lift your spirits....maybe! It helps me! It's a wonderful song by a band called the Temper Trap, the song is called Soldier on! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCW7ccbVmAc

[Mark Dissette]

The actors journey is a strange and lonely one. Many times you must gird yourself against your strongest enemy...yourself. Being on this road for many years I have made only a few discoveries. The road of your life is the material of your work if you don't pay attention to the pain, sorrow joy and suffering you have nothing to bring to your craft. The tears are real when yours have been as is the laughter such is life and such is acting. Don't disengage to "be" an actor reach out for each experience in life and bring it to what you want the audience to feel. Easy to say tough to do that's why you have to love each performance be it for 2 people or 12 million each one is important and that may be all you receive but the appreciation of those 2 may be what keeps you going and you reach the others. Who knows who can tell you the path who can guarantee that what you are doing is right... your audience them no one else in the end. When you do it right, when you put the work in when you feel that energy that you created coming back to you from the audience then you know you got it right. Money, it may come but if you're an actor and you mean it the performance is the thing. I'd love to make lots of money doing it but that's not the point shedding my tears on stage with a "real" character moving the people sitting there making them laugh that must be enough to start to finish and to fill. If it is not...well go sell real estate that is the actors delema curse and joy suffering for your art happens in the soul when we get the opportunity to pour ourselves out to an audience and they respond. What a crazy way to live what madness what joy.

[Michael F.Ryan]

Dear Luciano:

It isn't hopeless at all; it really isn't.  Being a local, and non-union, amatuer actor has wonderful advantages because you are far more likely to get jobs in the local market than if you were in competition with all of the talent in Los Angeles or New York!  I'm a local producer, a CASA Producer, and I have recently hired four actors to work on an on-going motion picture which we are filming here in the Denver area.  Every actor who I've hired has been a CASA member; and I would hire you too!  So don't despair work is around and there is plenty of it.  You won't be earning SAG level income, but you probably will be working more often in the Front Range Market and, perhaps, working on more meaningful projects that will allow an actor to develop and explore the forms of expression open to a performer with a willingness to commit to lower budget, more experimental, and less commercial "movies".  There really are opportunities here and a lot of your fellow thespians are working at them right now.  I'm actually having problems, believe it or not, in scheduling the time of the various actors in our production ensemble because they are working on so many film projects at the same time.  If you doubt that this is true just ask my associate producer, Kasha Fauscett, a long time CASA member and actress. We're constantly searching for local, non-SAG, talent who are open to developing their talent.  Hang in there and call me sometime.  We're shooting on lots of weekends, and the actors get paid every time for their work.